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Daily writing prompt

What could you do more of?

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i could do more of silence
my mouth seeking vanity
security
your lips to my ear
so loving and sincere
me, changing everything i hear
to i love you i love you i love

i could do more of history
i restart my identity
every city block
i say the things that bother me
happened to someone else
i tell stories when i talk
as if i have never been touched by you

i could do more of waiting
every moment passed
is a gasp
i have no decorum
there’s a vibration through my hands
i need to know now
need someone to promise
it’s ok, you’re ok, it’ll be ok

i could do more of listening
i’m desperate
to have the last word
to fight my way to a seat at the table
when i sit
i scream
not knowing what they mean
when they say to wait my turn

i could do more of healing
ripping open stitches with my teeth
running on broken knees
slamming my fist into the meat of my thighs
sometimes
i think i want to hurt
i mean
what other conclusion could
all this breaking make

i could do more talking, more missing, more pride.
i could do with more acceptance, more opening my eyes
i could do with more denial of the dangers that i covet
i could do more of exactly what i want
i could do with more standing still
i could do with one more voice
saying
you’re in the clear
and i could do more of living in love
and less of living in fear